


Do Me a Favor and Don't Move

by BadBlond099



Series: Familiarity Breeds... [15]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Genre: Cuz we're all stir crazy, Dick Grayson is Discowing, Intervention, M/M, Quarantine, Smut, haircut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-05-31
Packaged: 2021-03-03 08:27:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24467956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BadBlond099/pseuds/BadBlond099
Summary: “Wait, did he mean ‘intervention’?”There was a solid group “YES” that made Dick wince.“What? I don’t have a sex addiction problem.”Jason sputtered and dropped down on the couch, covering his face. “Why would you think I’d call in help for THAT!?”“Well, what else could I have a problem with?”[Maybe he doesn’t see it because it’s covering his eyes,] Kon brought up. [I mean, look at that. It’s just…I thought my hair was a little behind the times.]
Relationships: Dick Grayson/Jason Todd
Series: Familiarity Breeds... [15]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1731799
Comments: 8
Kudos: 98





	Do Me a Favor and Don't Move

**Author's Note:**

> Allo again!
> 
> Guess who finally got a haircut?
> 
> Before anyone chides me for not trying on myself:  
> A) I'm left handed and don't own left handed scissors and can, would, and HAVE messed up my hair before.  
> B) I don't own an electric razor, and there's a good portion of my hair that's shaved...or was...and finally is again.
> 
> Anywho! The quarantine haircut has been a topic of a lot of videos and hubbub. I figured, after describing Dick's hair as shaggy so often, it was time.
> 
> As always, don't take this too seriously! It's all in good fun! This is part of a series of quarantine-themed short fics focusing on my favorite Bat-ship. Reading the others isn't required to enjoy this as they're all kind of light on plot. This is my way of fighting the cabin fever and coping with the writer's block. It's been a huge bonus to bring smiles where I can. I'm always open to suggestions if anyone has situations they'd like to see. A lot of the time between these is because I work and parts of my city have kinda sorta opened up but not really...but it's also having the ideas for these.
> 
> Well, here's hoping you enjoy!

Dick waited anxiously for Jason to join him in the living room. Jason had been spending a lot of time working out back in the bedroom. Dick just figured he was making good use of the pull-up bar or something.

“You coming back? I want to watch Star Force!”

Jason finally stepped out of the bedroom with a small…briefcase of sorts. He didn’t look sweaty or winded either.

“Uhh, workout go well?”

“It’s time, guys.”

Netflix clicked off to a group chat including Tim and Kon, Steph and Cass, and Damian and Jon.

“Whoa. Have you guys been watching me?”

[Yep,] Steph admitted immediately. [You lounge like a cat. Were you practicing sexy poses earlier?]

“Nope! Not at all!” Dick looked at Jason with his eyes wide. Jason just raised an eyebrow.

[Ah hem!] Damian demanded everyone’s attention. [Let us get to the real reason we have gathered today.]

“Another round of D&D?” Dick wondered. “If we make it to the boss I want to see what’ll happen if I seduce Jason again.”

[I thought the joke was that the bard always seduces the dragon, not their teammate,] Jon muttered.

Damian groaned. [No! We have gathered because we are doing the intervening!]

Tim and Steph both slapped their foreheads surprisingly at the same time.

“Wait, did he mean ‘intervention’?”

There was a solid group “YES” that made Dick wince.

“What? I don’t have a sex addiction problem.”

Jason sputtered and dropped down on the couch, covering his face. “Why would you think I’d call in help for THAT!?”

“Well, what else could I have a problem with?”

[Maybe he doesn’t see it because it’s covering his eyes,] Kon brought up. [I mean, look at that. It’s just…I thought MY hair was a little behind the times.]

“Hair?” Dick ran his hair through the shaggy mop that adorned his head. “This is about my HAIR?”

[You have to cut it,] Steph all but begged. [Remember the dark times of the Disco-wing?]

Dick felt deeply insulted. “Disco…I’ll have you know that suit was based off my family’s circus—”

[I thought the Robin suit was based off your family’s circus uniform. Were they both? They kind of clash. That just plain seems ridicu—]

“Tim, seriously, I don’t need your opinion! I’m in quarantine! We’re all in quarantine! There’s nowhere to get…your…” Dick looked at the images on the TV and at Jason. Tim’s hair was a little long, but nothing unusual. Conner’s had gotten long enough to pull back into a man-bun, but it was very manageable. Stephanie was trying an asymmetric look and Cassandra was rocking a sleek under-cut. Lastly, Damian’s hair was still as short as ever and Jon’s was looking a little curly, but obviously well kept.

Then there was Jason, who had maintained not only the short length, but even kept his streak of white consistently dyed black.

“How?”

[I’ve always cut my own hair,] Tim explained. [Kon can be a challenge, but we managed some synthetic kryptonite scissors that do the job.]

[Took a few tries.] Konner touched his fingers to the shortest parts of his hair and shrugged. [Works for me, though.]

[Thankfully the human half of me keeps me from having indestructible hair,] Jon noted. [Damian tried to take a go at it, but I used some online videos to upkeep.]

[Yeah, we resorted to the how-to stuff too,] Steph brought up. [Of course, Cass is incredible with all things sharp. She’s wasted as a vigilante. Should have gone to beauty school.]

Dick looked to Jason. “I get that I haven’t really asked, but what about you?”

“Kori helped teach me to groom my own hair ages ago.” Jason popped open the small briefcase to reveal a set of clippers. “We think it’s time to get rid of the mullet.”

Dick ran fingers through his hair and sighed. “It…it felt a little nostalgic.”

Jason put a comforting hand on his shoulder. “It’s time, Dick.”

[Yeah, the 70’s were 50 years ago!] Stephanie belted out. [Cut it off! Cut it off!]

[CUT IT OFF! CUT IT OFF!]

Jason stood up and grabbed one of the dining room chairs, setting it up where Dick could sit in full view of the cameras. “I’ll take good care of you.”

Dick sighed but moved over to the chair. “Do we need, like, a trash bag or something to cover me or the floor?”

Jason draped a bed sheet over Dick’s shoulders, tied it off, and picked up the clippers. “What do you think, guys? Pompadour fade? Textured quiff? Crew cut? Buzz cut?”

[Fringe,] Cassandra piped up. [Grayson looks best with fringe.]

Jason ran his fingers gently through Dick’s hair. “I can see it. You ready?”

Dick looked to the others and nodded. “Yeah. Do it. Go ahead and—”

“Whoops.”

“WHOOPS!?”

Jason smirked. “I’m kidding. Now hold still.”

Everyone eagerly watched as Jason worked his magic. It was a little amateur and, in order to help him out, Steph and Cass pulled up an image of what Cassandra had in mind for reference.

After a bit Dick actually resembled the reference picture.

“I think this worked out nicely,” Jason muttered, touching up here and there.

“Really?” Dick turned without thinking and it was like he sucked the air right out of his audience’s lungs. A clump of hair hit the bedsheet and Jason stared at him with wide eyes.

[Damnit, Grayson, you were there!]

[How do you mess that up?]

[Jason was doing so well too!]

Dick tried to reach up but Jason caught his arms and pinned them down. “It’s okay. I can work with this. Just…Do me a favor and sit still.”

For the most part he did, but at one point he sneezed and there was another collective gasp.

“Jaaaaay!”

“Fuck it!”

In the end, Dick wound up with a very slightly tapered buzz-cut and a little streak on the left side of his head from when he moved at the wrong time.

“Voila, I guess.”

Cassandra and Jon clapped, Kon held back laughter, and everyone else accepted with defeated relief.

[It’s better than the mullet.]

“I had a challenging subject to work with,” Jason mumbled, “but I did my best.”

Dick shrugged out of the bedsheet, flustered. “What did you do? Is it okay?”

Jason took a hand mirror out of the clipper case and handed it to Dick, who was initially shocked by the sight of his own round head. “Oh my god, you cut so much!”

“Honestly wasn’t the plan until you made yourself into a hack-job.”

Dick ran a hand over the fuzz that remained on his head and whined. “Man, I liked having a handle.”

[Handle for what?]

Jason closed his eyes, already apologetic to Damian for Jon’s unfortunately naïve question.

[Well, I think we’ve seen to our goal here. Shall we give the lovebirds a little privacy?] Steph suggested.

Tim groaned. [Dear god, yes. If we wait too long they’ll start something with or without the audience.]

[Hair looks good, Dick. Keep hanging in there,] Conner added before Tim hung up their line.

[I am sorry for the change,] Cassandra threw in while Stephanie waved them out.

[Handle for WHAT?]

[I blame you for this.] Damian and Jon hung up last.

Jason scooped up what stray hair he could in the bedsheet and dumped it out the window while Dick continued to check himself over in the mirror.

“You know, I’d make a pretty intimidating taxi driver looking like this.”

Jason shuddered at the thought. “You talkin’ to me?”

“Huh? Yeah I’m—”

“Are YOU talking to ME?”

“Jay, what are you—”

“I don’t see anybody else here, so you must be talkin’ to—”

“Oh, fuck off. I see what you did there.” Didn’t stop the smirk from playing its way onto Jason’s face. “So? What do you think?” Dick stood up and did a little spin, all the while feeling along his fuzz. “This the head of someone you could love?”

Jason shut the window and dropped the bedsheet in favor of getting his hands on Dick’s waist. To prove his affection, no matter what Dick looked like, Jason got his lips right to Dick’s ear and nibbled at the lobe before whispering, “I’ll admit, the handle was nice, but you really did need a haircut.”


End file.
